The English Language

Having arriven in beautiful land of Taiwan, I am now prepare myself for the teaching of the English language. It is true that English language posses celebrated occupancy in this fair land. In walking through a city, you see much of English words. I have goal of assisting people in the speaking of this language. Many people not necessary for assistance as they posses proficiency at first.

Yes, English is quite popular around here. One is indeed impressed with the people's desire to use what English they do know. They combine this zeal with prodigious levels of creativity leading to an ingenious use of English. It is actually quite deflating for me, a native English speaker who desires to have a fair grasp of English vocabulary and sentence structure, to see with what ease people effortlessly produce the keenest turn of phrase. I shall endeavor to pass along some of these gems.

A few days ago, I thought it would be nice to get outside of the city. Rumor had it that there was a place near the Taipei zoo where one could hop in a gondola and ride to the top of a mountain. Allow me here to pause to clear up some misunderstandings that some of you just experienced. When I said gondola, some of you immediately thought of a little boat in Venice piloted by a singing man with a pole (I never heard any of them sing, by the way). Thus, you were overwhelmingly surprised at the strength of men here in Taiwan who are able to pole their boats up mountains while singing arias. Put your mind at ease. This is not the type of gondola to which I am referring. It is basically a cable car. In any case, I thought it would be nice to reach the top of the mountain one way or the other.

Of course, such things cost money, so first I had to stop at a local atm. One is impressed with the care the banks have for those using their atms. Upon selecting the English language mode at some atms, the customer is greeting with this admonition: "Attention! The gangster may use the English user interface to cheat you!" I have not yet determined who this gangster is, but evidently his activities are notorious enough to have warranted atm warning status. Part of me admires the man. We have some dastardly villains back in the States, but never have have I heard of one making it to the level of an atm warning. This man has obviously taken crime to a new level, and one simply must admire a person who is the best at his craft. You had better believe, though, that I am looking over my shoulder as I walk down the streets. This gangster is evidently no one to be trifled with.

Well, I got my money and made my way to the gondola. It was a nice ride to the top. I have seen little of this island, but I think I can safely say that Taiwan has beautiful parts. The climate here is officially referred to as "marine tropical". I don't know exactly what this means, but it produces some pretty scenery. The foliage on the mountains is dense. Picture your favorite war movie set on some Pacific island where the hero has to fight his way through some forrest with heavy undergrowth and strange bird calls and animals noises as he tries to reach the village in time to save either his life or the world. Remove the part where he slogs through some swamp and is attacked by an anaconda-like monster which he kills with his knife. Add a massive city just over the hero's shoulder. You are now somewhere in the ballpark of the scenery I looked down on. When I reached the top, I went hiking through various trails that were dotted here and there by little tea shops. Of course, to the uninitiated eye, all of these tea shops look the same. Therefore they must in some way distinguish themselves. Being astute businessmen, the owners of these tea shops display to passersbuy the strength of their particular emporium. One such businessman put forth his strengths in a short, punchy, effective manner by putting on his sign, "Well tea. Well food. Well view." To this I say, "Good said." After seeing this sign, I returned home in well spirits.

Before I end this blog, I would like to pass on some good words I picked up from a trash can I bought yesterday. On the top of this particular plastic wastebasket is found the profoundly practical warning, "Do not put fire." I have now seen the light and shall give up my perverse habit of putting fire. This warning, though, was not all the trash can had to offer. Printed on the side are these sagacious words, "PITCH WASTE HERE: Resources are limited. However, there's no limit to ideas of human beings." Good said. Good said.