The Joke

I am all for a good joke. This may come as a shock to those who know me only through the grave and earnest nature of this blog. Those who know me well, however, have seen through the clouds of my somber deportment and glimpsed a few jocund rays emanating from my soul. I am by no means averse to playing pleasant practical jokes on those I love. I also pride myself on possessing a gracious nature towards those who attempt to ensnare me in their little diversions. These schemes encourage creativity, stimulate the mind, and more often than not result in a good hearty chuckle.

As a general rule, these jokes are played on a small scale among friends. There are, of course, the Candid Cameras of the world, but ask anyone who has devoted his or her life to the scholarly study of practical jokes, and this odd person will tell you that, percentage wise, small jokes far outweigh their larger brothers. It was quite fascinating for me, then, to be a part of one the largest and longest running practical jokes known to mankind.

Last night I went to the Shi-lin night market. Night markets in Taiwan are markets that are open at night. At these markets you can find any item that you want. You also can find any item that you don't want. The problem with items that you don't want is that there is always some strange person out there who does want it. Thus, you go to the market to get a certain item you want, and you find strange people there for the items you don't want. You are there for the item you want and someone else is there for every other item. What I am working up to is that there is about a 1-1 person/item ratio at these night markets. Shi-lin is the largest of these night markets, containing about 84,451,784 items. According to my handy formula previously mentioned, this mean that there were about 84,451,784 people there as well. Evidently, this makes it a prime location for perpetuating practical jokes on a large scale.

According to my research into the matter, this particular joke actually started in 1853 when a British merchant in Taiwan (then called Formosa) received a letter informing him that he had been jilted by his true love back home. So great was his despondency that he resolved never again to consume the fruit of the earth or the flesh of beasts. Being a portly gentleman given much to eating, this self-imposed fast was a great sacrifice meant to prove the depth of his ardor. Well, in his case the pangs of the flesh proved stronger than those of the soul, and after just 13 days he found himself so famished he began to eat whatever was close at hand. What was close at hand is too disgusting to be mentioned in this blog. Suffice it to say, it was rotten and nasty. Much to his surprise, however, it did not kill him. After this episode, he decided that rather than punishing himself for the error of his lover, he would forswear all ties to the West, remain in Taiwan, and wreak vengeance on all foreigners who came the island. To exact this revenge, he set up a little food stand in a local market and advertised "The Best Traditional Formosan Cuisine". What he actually sold was the garbage that he had first eaten when he broke his fast. The locals, of course, wouldn't touch the stuff. Visitors to the island, on the other hand, were eager to try true local food and were easily convinced that any restaurant serving good food was simply catering to their Western palates. Thus, they flocked to this man's stand and scarfed down the most absurd "foods". Some of these people were honest and threw it back up almost as soon as they threw it down. Others, generally men trying to impress, proclaimed it to be "quite good!" Needless to say, the locals found it great fun to see what all the foreigners would eat. Soon "Traditional Food" stands began to pop up everywhere. Eventually, many of these stands congregated together at the Shi-lin night market. To this very day foreigners still come, fully convinced that they are partaking in real Taiwanese food. So great is the subtlety and effectiveness of the joke, than they have even suckered the Bizarre Foods tv show to come, thinking they were actually sampling food. The locals simply serve it up, snicker, and head home to their chicken and veggies.

I partook in this great practical joke last night, graciously giving a few laughs to those in the know. Allow me to mention some of the highlights of our fare. It started out with a dish that is appetizingly named "Stinky Tofu". There are two things that must be said about stinky tofu. First, it is stinky. Part of the cleverness of the joke is that they are up front with foreigners as to the content of the "foods." Never is this so true as when it comes to the stinky part of stinky tofu. There is no subtly to the odor, and even the weakest of olfactory systems can pick up the scent from one hundred yards away or more. This distinct characteristic comes from the fact that it is fermented and rotten. The second thing that must be said about stinky tofu is that it is tofu. That about sums it up.

A second dish that we consumed to the delight of all around was oyster pancakes. The thrill in this work of art isn't so much a terrible flavor or nasty odor, but rather in the plain old fact that it is a weird combination. Nobody eats oyster pancakes. Nobody, that is, except for those under the vengeance of a jilted British merchant. There are many other elements to this grand joke. I could list more, but it might limit your imagination. Take a moment and think through the nastiest substances or the strangest food combinations and you will suddenly find yourself in the Shi-lin night market.

To be honest, I hesitate to post this blog as I feel bad about exposing so great a joke. There are thousands who have suffered moments of pure agony in the pursuit of experiencing true Taiwanese culture. I hate to tell them now it all just a joke. To make up for my whistle-blowing, I will ask that none of my blog readers share this information with their friends. And if you ever find yourself in the Shi-lin area, go ahead and take a bite. There is no harm in letting other people have their laughs.