Sun Moon Lake Trip

This past weekend took me to Sun Moon Lake. This celestial pool is located in central Taiwan and is generally esteemed for its beautiful setting. It is nestled at the feet of Taiwan's low but sharp central mountains. Upon first hearing of this lake, one is curious as to the origins of its name. The story is straightforward enough. Years ago in a time of peace and harmony, the tribal people lived in concert with nature and gave themselves to the enjoyable pursuits of farming and head hunting. One day, however, a rather annoying event occurred; the sun did not come out. Equally annoying was the fact that the moon did come out that night either. It seems that a dragon had eaten both of these celestial bodies. This was unfortunate. After a while, the villager found that their crops wouldn't grow. They also discovered that hunting heads was much more difficult in the thick, heavy darkness that ruled the world. Finally, one young, loving couple, who were for some reason running around under the sobriquets DaJianGe and ShuiSheJie (henceforth Ge and Jie), decided to undertake the restoration of both sun and moon to their rightful places. In the course of their travels in search of the sun and moon, they discovered that the offending dragon lived in the bottom of a deep lake. For a while they were unsure of how to proceed, but then they stumbled upon the aged wise person that is required for every such story. This sage matron informed Ge and Jie that the dragon would die if they threw the golden scissors and golden ax into the lake. This seemed reasonable enough to Ge and Jie, so they went in search of the lethal objects. The search proved successful and the objects proved lethal. The problem now lie in getting the sun and moon back to the sky. Enter sage matron once again. If Ge and Jie would eat the dragon's eyeballs, she said, then they would grow tall and strong. This also seemed reasonable to the two, and they ate the eyeballs. Indeed, they grew tall and strong, and they tried hurling the sun and moon back into the sky, but these bodies just would not stick. Enter sage matron yet again. She suggested using two giant palm trees near the lake to help prop up the sun and moon. This too seemed reasonable enough for Ge and Jie, and they put the sun and moon on the palm trees and lifted them up into the sky. Finally, the sun and moon stuck in their places and everything returned to normal. Ge and Jie remained by the lake to make sure the sun and moon did not fall again. Eventually they turned into two mountains that can now be seen by the lake. To commemorate this event, the tribal people initiated celebrations, the highlight of which is what one source of mine calls "The Holding Ball Dance." Some people are skeptical of the whole story because they do not believe that a dragon could swallow the sun and the moon. Such skepticism is ridiculous. Many is the time I have seen the sun and moon look smaller than a quarter. Besides, I have seen the two mountains with my own eyes.

I went down to the Sun Moon Lake area with a good friend. While down there, we decided to visit the Formosa Aboriginal Culture Village Amusement Park. I was quite excited about this part of the trip. In an age when many of the downtrodden and oppressed people groups of the world have been given their dues (not including a certain brother of mine), I was pleased to hear that Taiwan's aboriginal people were being recognized with a theme park. I was particularly anxious to personally visit this ode to the Native Taiwanese people because I have Native American blood coursing through my veins. It was a perfect opportunity, I thought, to show our support for our brothers on this island.

Just before my friend and I entered the park, I found a place to change into my loin cloth and moccasins. Thus accoutered, I proceeded directly to a man wearing the colorful garb of a Taiwanese tribesman. I addressed him in this manner:

How! Me travel over great lake from land of tall wikiups! Me come smoke um up peace pipe with Taiwanese brothers! Extend um right hand of fellowship, show um solidarity! Me son of Bald Turtle Buddy and Squawking Dove Susan. Bald Turtle great brave many many moons ago. Squawking Dove great squaw. Have um up many sons, make um up great teepee. Me, you now go on heap big hunt. Kill um water buffalo. Then we go on warpath. I take um scalps, you take um rest of head. Later we go to heap big gambling wigwam, win um wampum!

As I was thus expressing my support, my friend who had accompanied me to the park built a fire and began to do a traditional dance around it. I had not anticipated this, but I found it truly inspiring. There was nothing for me to do but drag my new native friend a few laps around the fire myself.

So far everything was going beautifully. I decided it was time to take the next step. I loudly announced:

We make um up unwavering, indestructible concord! We make um blood brothers!

I then whipped out my knife and was in the process of drawing blood from my new native friend's hand when the whole thing came to an abrupt halt. I was viciously attacked by several men in uniforms and thrown from the park. This behavior seems rather inexplicable at first, but upon further reflection I realized what had taken place. The uniformed men were members of a tribe that was at odds with my new friend's tribe. The pact between my tribe and my friend's tribe would have signaled a shift in power, spelling great danger for the uniformed tribe. I will not be put off by their rough tactics, however. I am now seeking to once again open up channels of communication with my new friend, ensuring him that I will bring many a tomahawk in his tribe's defense in their time of need.

Overall, it was a great weekend. I finally got to a place where I didn't at least feel like I was in Taipei. Mountains, lakes, amusement parks, and friends seems to be a winning weekend combination. Try it sometime. Just look out for uniformed people.